I used to make New Year’s resolutions that unraveled by the end of January — like my big plan to get my finances in order at the start of 2019 (and 2020, and 2021). But last year, after several of my friends lost parents, I made a resolution that I’ve been able to keep.
I decided to check in with these friends about the small but important moments in their lives.
One had told me that her mother was the only person who followed up on the little things by asking: How was your doctor’s appointment? Is your dog feeling any better? How did that cookie recipe turn out?
So now I jot down reminders to ask about a friend’s test results or how their kid did in the school play. I’ve also gently prodded them to make medical appointments.
These everyday exchanges have shifted our friendships into something far deeper, making me feel as if my friends are more like family. I realized that we had often communicated only the headlines of our lives — a new job, a big breakup — but that the mundane details add more texture to our bonds. Nothing says “I see you, and I’m paying attention” more than when a friend texts to ask if your basement is still flooded.
Three weeks ago, I asked readers whether they had made any New Year’s resolutions that changed their lives. Here are some of my favorites.
Quotes have been edited for clarity and length.
This year, I decided to try one activity: Every night a calendar pop-up reminds me to record a “joy note,” and I enter one or more things that gave me joy during the day.
At the end of 2023, I will have 365 or more reminders of things that gave me joy. No one else will see my notes, but I will always have them as a record to inspire me. — Denise Abboud, Cleveland
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One New Year’s Eve at work, after picking up three or four pens that didn’t write, I jokingly told a co-worker, “This year, I am making one doable resolution: If a pen is dead, throw it away immediately.”
My resolution changed from pens to everything: If it is no longer useful to me, I will discard it, recycle it, sell it or donate it — at least one item each day. I now keep two donation boxes in the garage for a local charity store. — Dez Crawford, Portland, Ore.
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When I was a kid, I was considered hopeless in physical education. So, when a friend invited people to join a fitness challenge at the end of 2020, I decided that this was the time I would overcome my fear of failure.
We started by doing workouts via Zoom. I didn’t have weights, so I used soup cans instead. It was difficult. But, over time, I slowly grew stronger and more confident. My teacher replaced the soup cans with three-pound weights. My balance began to improve. I discovered that I was very flexible and could become strong. I joined a gym and actually look forward to working out. At 67, I replaced the “I can’t” attitude of my youth with “Yes, I can.” — Alice Gerard, Grand Island, N.Y.
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In January 2023, I resolved to buy only secondhand clothes (except for basics like underwear) as my small attempt to help the planet. I love shopping, and I seriously thought that I would struggle with this. But here we are, almost a year later, and I haven’t bought anything new.
I have discovered a new world of secondhand shops and apps — and even the joys of shopping in my closet.
My teenage daughter made the same resolution, and we’ve spent lots of great days coming home with amazing bargains. — Claudia Rosani, Milton Keynes, England
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During the darkest period in my 60 years, I resolved to try every new thing offered to me. Some were duds, but each one taught me something or made the next new thing easier. Now, two years later, my life is vastly different. I accepted jobs overseas. I made deep new friendships outside my typical circle. I met a partner whom I plan to marry. I’m invigorated again. I would never have imagined these results. — Paul Murdoch, Jacksonville, Ore.
A Guide to Staying Motivated During Dry January
Taking a month off from alcohol can offer a mental and physical reset — and participating in Dry January with others can provide community and support without a lot of questions. Experts offer their best strategies to tackle 31 days of sobriety.
Read the article: Considering Dry January? Set Yourself Up for Success.
Ask Well: The Year’s 10 Most Popular Questions
Every week, the Ask Well column answers a health question. We’ve compiled the ones that resonated most with readers, including: Is it bad to wash your hair every day? Why do I become constipated when I travel? Is arthritis unavoidable?
Read the article: Your Top Health Questions of 2023, Answered
The Week in Well
Here are some stories you don’t want to miss:
Let’s keep the conversation going. Follow Well on Instagram, or write to us at well_newsletter@nytimes.com. And check out last week’s newsletter about the health lessons we learned this year.