Singer-songwriter, TV presenter and actor Ed Tudor Pole also fronted the punk rock band Tenpole Tudor, who had a hit with Swords Of A Thousand Men in 1981, writes York Membery.
The 70-year-old also appeared in the Sex Pistols’ film – The Great Rock ‘n’ Roll Swindle – and sang on three of the songs on the soundtrack.
He went on to appear in a number of films, including Absolute Beginners, before presenting iconic Channel 4 game show The Crystal Maze from 1993 to 1995.
Father-of-one Ed, who’s just written a memoir, lives in London.
What did your parents teach you about money?
I was one of two boys and grew up in south-west London, though it wasn’t a particularly friendly area. My multi-linguist dad worked in the international division of the Post Office, and my mum looked after us children.
I used to get a few pennies pocket money to buy sweets. I never really went without, but it was quite an austere childhood in many ways. For instance, I was only allowed one glass of Ribena a day, no more.
Iconic: Ed Tudor Pole presented the Channel 4 game show The Crystal Maze from 1993 to 1995
Have you ever struggled to make ends meet?
Yes, in my early 20s when I was living in a squat [in London] on £9-a-week unemployment benefit.
I was so broke at one point that I had to walk from Regent’s Park to Mortlake [about nine miles] to borrow a quid off my mum. En route I was accosted by a man who asked for 10p, but when I explained I didn’t have a penny to my name he gave me 10p. What a generous, kindred spirit, I thought.
When times were particularly hard I’d make a vegetable stew with fallen veg from market stalls, maybe paying for a couple of potatoes. It wasn’t the most exotic meal but it kept me alive.
Have you ever been paid silly money?
Yes, after co-writing [the punk hit] Who Killed Bambi with Vivienne Westwood in the late 1970s, a music publisher invited me to his office, said, ‘I’m going to shower you with money Tenpole!’ and gave me £6,000, which went a long way back then.
I made a bit more dosh – a few thousand pounds – out of the song when Netflix featured it in last year’s drama, Zero Day, with Robert de Niro. Presenting The Crystal Maze was also a great job – I was paid £50,000 a year to be the centre of attention on a primetime TV show. I felt like Toad of Toad Hall!
What was the best year of your financial life?
Everyone will assume it was 1981 when Tenpole Tudor had a big hit with Swords Of A Thousand Men – but it takes a while for the money to feed through, and some record labels are better than others at passing on song royalties.
I heard one record company boss kept a baseball bat under his desk back in the day just in case an angry musician turned up unannounced at his office demanding unpaid song royalties. In the long-term though, Swords was very good for my career – and decades later [2020-21] I made a welcome few quid out of it when Haven Holidays used it in a TV advert.
Swords Of A Thousand Men: Ed (second from right) fronted the punk rock band Tenpole Tudor
The most expensive thing you bought for fun?
A beautiful acoustic guitar I bought in London’s Denmark Street for £500 in the late 1970s. I spent many an hour playing on it and coming up with song riffs, until it was stolen in the squat I was living in at the time.
Sadly, it was not insured. There was no hot water in the squat, let alone money to insure anything.
What has been your biggest money mistake?
Being philosophical, it’s probably all the investments I should have made over the years but didn’t.
Best money decision you have made?
Firstly, buying a flat in Finsbury Park [north London] for £10,000 in the early 1980s on the advice of my then accountant – the sole piece of useful financial advice I’ve ever been given.
I sold it to the bloke downstairs for more than I paid for it a few years later.
Secondly, playing punk rock gigs to help fund my son Henry’s education at the City of London School. He got a bursary covering three-quarters of the fees – I just had to chip in £60 a week. He’s 30 now and studying for a PhD.
Will you pass your money down or spend it?
I’ll pass it on to my son, though we’re obviously not talking about Paul McCartney amounts. I don’t agree with inheritance tax – you should be allowed to pass on what you’ve earned without being clobbered by the taxman.
Do you have a pension?
I’ve been paying into a private pension since my 30s, on my late Dad’s advice, though I haven’t yet had to dip into my pot. I claim my state pension, though.
Do you own any property?
Yes, a Victorian terraced house in London that I bought 30 years ago for around £100,000 when I was presenting the Crystal Maze.
I have no interest in knowing its current value because it’s my home – it’s only worth knowing what something is worth if you’re going to sell it.
I wouldn’t want to live in a mansion – it would involve too much maintenance for me.
If you were Chancellor what would you do?
I’d appoint a Devon farmer friend Geoffrey instead, who knows much more about money than I do. He’s solid, dependable, sensible and efficient – what more do you want in a chancellor?
What is your number one financial priority?
To keep on gigging – I’ve been playing around 50 gigs a year since the 2000s, but fewer now – so I can afford to put food, along with a decent wine, on the table.
On a good night I can make a few hundred pounds. Thankfully, I live a pretty frugal lifestyle.
- The Pen Is Mightier: Autobiography Of A Punk Rocker (Oldcastle Books), by Edward Tudor Pole, is out now in paperback, £12.99.